Yes I was bullied in my younger days wasn't nice, and I had hard times to. Had a choice live or take another way out I chose to live. Not a perfect life but was better choice.i still deal with things use other things even today. Some I can open up with. Open up
So sorry your feeling this way, never feel like your alone, always someone you can talk to here about anything. I to have been there found friends to share with anything they have helped me, those you can count on.