Whenever I hop on chat, I’m always asking myself “who am I gonna talk to today? What picture am I gonna show to that person? Do they think im attractive? Do I please them in any way? Are they just using me for pictures?” The questions go on and on and on.
I’ve always had a bit of a strange mind when I was young. At the age of 6 I wanted to be a princess. At the age of 9 I wanted to be a a rockstar. At 13 I wanted to be a dancer (and I did!). At 16 I wanted to be a CEO (lol). A girl could only dream right? But sex changed everything. At the age of 17 I did it. I lost my v card to a guy who didn’t even know my name.
fast forward to when I was 21 - I dropped out of college, had so many sexual fetishes I needed to see a therapist, and had well over 35 guys in my pants.
fast forward again to when I was 25. This day changed my life. The day I was submitted into subservience. To a man who I looked up to and to a man who would show me who I really was. My master. I lived with him and I relied on him for acknowledgement. He Made me feel special about myself and about what I could do for people. The goals I had of being a CEO now dwindled to the goals of being a slave to a wealthy elderly man. I guess that was my destiny and I was proud of it.
but destiny had other plans for me when I found out I was pregnant. I was being shared and my masters face changed when I told him. I was on the strongest birth control and he believed that I had taken every precaution. But his gaze was different. He saw me as someone who was not the same. And I admit it, I understand where he was coming from.
fast forward 3 weeks later. I’m scrubbing the kitchen floor and I see him walk in with another woman. Younger, more slender, all natural, and felt more powerful. I knew in that moment I was done. That same day he asked me to pack my bags and get out of town.
fast forward to today - 32 years old and coach a girls beach volleyball team. Am I a slut still? Yes. Do I still crave to serve men? Yes. How do I fair against other more stronger women? Probably not that great. Am I having fun? Yes. Is this what my life is going to be like? Who knows. All I know is that life is a rollercoaster. And I’m going to take every rise and dip and have fun with it.
PS: I am a sub so if you want to chat, hit me up on the chat lol. I also do google hangouts lol
I’ve always had a bit of a strange mind when I was young. At the age of 6 I wanted to be a princess. At the age of 9 I wanted to be a a rockstar. At 13 I wanted to be a dancer (and I did!). At 16 I wanted to be a CEO (lol). A girl could only dream right? But sex changed everything. At the age of 17 I did it. I lost my v card to a guy who didn’t even know my name.
fast forward to when I was 21 - I dropped out of college, had so many sexual fetishes I needed to see a therapist, and had well over 35 guys in my pants.
fast forward again to when I was 25. This day changed my life. The day I was submitted into subservience. To a man who I looked up to and to a man who would show me who I really was. My master. I lived with him and I relied on him for acknowledgement. He Made me feel special about myself and about what I could do for people. The goals I had of being a CEO now dwindled to the goals of being a slave to a wealthy elderly man. I guess that was my destiny and I was proud of it.
but destiny had other plans for me when I found out I was pregnant. I was being shared and my masters face changed when I told him. I was on the strongest birth control and he believed that I had taken every precaution. But his gaze was different. He saw me as someone who was not the same. And I admit it, I understand where he was coming from.
fast forward 3 weeks later. I’m scrubbing the kitchen floor and I see him walk in with another woman. Younger, more slender, all natural, and felt more powerful. I knew in that moment I was done. That same day he asked me to pack my bags and get out of town.
fast forward to today - 32 years old and coach a girls beach volleyball team. Am I a slut still? Yes. Do I still crave to serve men? Yes. How do I fair against other more stronger women? Probably not that great. Am I having fun? Yes. Is this what my life is going to be like? Who knows. All I know is that life is a rollercoaster. And I’m going to take every rise and dip and have fun with it.
PS: I am a sub so if you want to chat, hit me up on the chat lol. I also do google hangouts lol
