I was bullied a lot growing up. I got so low after my second failed attempt, my hatred and desire for revenge was the only thing keeping me alive. Now it is starting to cause permanent mental and physical damage to my body and mind. I seldom go more then a few hours with out thinking about them slamming basket balls on my head, or being told that was just there way of trying to be my friend.(Trust me it was not.) I remember being encircled and pushed till I fell down and kicked after I did go down. I confess I raised the seventh circle of hell in the name of revenge, deliberately and happily ruining the lives and careers of those who I felt wronged me for personal peace. I remember everything, I confess I only want to forget, I confess I have no peace, and I confess that I am starting to fear I never will. I hate waking up at night being that scared kid with that fuck wad screaming at me, telling me what a sack of shit I was for complaining about them and what they did to me. The weight comes and goes, I recently switched collages and now see a lot of these same people again. I can feel it killing me, I feel powerless and that scares me in ways words cant express. I confess I have stolen, lied, and even ended a marriage in my vendetta to find peace, there is no peace it is something that I don't even know what I would do with if I did have it at this point.