whatisinaname
New Member
I lead a double life. I grew up in a strict christian house and bought into becoming a "christian". Now, I can't leave the church because I will lose my family. Although my family is very loving, I know they will choose what the Bible says over me. My wife is verbally abusive, although I think that is more of a mental condition (she goes off and has no clue what she is saying), but it gets tiring to deal with. I can't leave her because I know I will lose my kids and I don't want them to be forced to live with that alone. My wife is also very paranoid of me and other women. When I get a new job, it is always "Are there any women there? Are they pretty?" etc. And I can't even look at another girl without her being suspicious of me. And yet in an odd way, that makes me want to have an affair. The more suspicious of me that she is, the more I want to prove her right. I want someone that feels they are sexy, someone assertive, someone who knows that that they are enough for me. And that is what drives me to look for an affair. But is it worth the cost?