I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, “Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot.” 
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Having dirty mind makes ordinary conversations Much more interesting.
Ladies, if a man says he’ll fix it, he will. There’s no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Hi thanks for following me. Hope we can chat.
Someone's dancing here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bR6IjhLcNc
I don’t think there will be enough coffee or middle fingers for this Monday.
I drink coffee because without it I’m basically just a cranky toddler whose blankie is in the washer.
I don’t Need an inspirational quote. What I Need is a freakin cup of coffee.
Lesson 1. Only trust people who like big butts... They cannot lie.
Something for my lovely lady. https://youtu.be/PmotCU6sVX8
If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.
Nobody goes through more shit in life than a person with a good heart.
If you had to choose between Pizza and staying skinny, what toppings would you want on your Pizza?
Hi there, how are you doing?
Is it “Smack a Dumbass day” already? Cool! Who’s first...?
No, I haven’t seen your pills... but have You seen the Dragons in the kitchen?
So many village idiots. So few Dragons.
You say I have a dirty mind... but how did you understand what I meant?
After I drink my coffee I like to show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I’ve successfully installed Java... -
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