Coming out

Mia_

New Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
 
Last edited:

olderM

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
Hello Mia, I have just patiently and ingested everything that you wrote, it's a shame about the people who are not accepting, how you feel inside is totally your choice and the bigots/cynics should just back off, all i can say is just be yourself, as a matter of fact, if ever you need to chat, then please don't hesitate to get in touch, like if you're feeling low and need a listening ear, I would be more than happy.
Have yourself a wonderful weekend, take care Mia
 

Mia_

New Member
OFC Regular
Hello Mia, I have just patiently and ingested everything that you wrote, it's a shame about the people who are not accepting, how you feel inside is totally your choice and the bigots/cynics should just back off, all i can say is just be yourself, as a matter of fact, if ever you need to chat, then please don't hesitate to get in touch, like if you're feeling low and need a listening ear, I would be more than happy.
Have yourself a wonderful weekend, take care Mia
Thank you! I felt like I needed to put it out there or I couldn't breathe anymore. Thank you for the kind offer, and I'll be sure to take you up on that. I extend the same to you!

I hope you have a great weekend too, and take care yourself!
 

olderM

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
Thank you! I felt like I needed to put it out there or I couldn't breathe anymore. Thank you for the kind offer, and I'll be sure to take you up on that. I extend the same to you!

I hope you have a great weekend too, and take care yourself!
Appreciate your speedy response, do you feel any better now you have got it all off your chest, hopefully people can read it and take everything in, I can't even begin to imagine how you must have felt. I meant what i said, ANYTIME that you need to chat, my ears are here, Oh and the rest too.
 

Mia_

New Member
OFC Regular
Appreciate your speedy response, do you feel any better now you have got it all off your chest, hopefully people can read it and take everything in, I can't even begin to imagine how you must have felt. I meant what i said, ANYTIME that you need to chat, my ears are here, Oh and the rest too.
I do feel a lot better. And yeah, I'm hoping it'll reach as many people on here as possible, but who knows how many will bother reading it. Again, thank you for the offer, I'll be sure to take it up when I need to. And thank you for your kind words.
 

olderM

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
I do feel a lot better. And yeah, I'm hoping it'll reach as many people on here as possible, but who knows how many will bother reading it. Again, thank you for the offer, I'll be sure to take it up when I need to. And thank you for your kind words.
I'm so glad that you are feeling better, it must have taken a lot of courage, but you have overcame that now.IF the message gets across, then it will be yet another achievement, I'm just happy that I had patience in reading it Mia.Just remember that my offer will always stand, that is when i'm here, which i will admit is quite a lot. My words are from the heart.
 

Pookie_Michelle

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
Hello Mia. I’m Michelle. I accept anyone and transgenders. If you ever need someone to talk to my inbox is always open. I’ve gone back and forth about my sexuality on and off. I’ve hid in the closet for so long. I thought at first I was bi/pan and poly. Then I told myself maybe I’m straight. Then told myself maybe I’m lesbian. I feel I’m bi cuz rp with guys and women and transgenders. Sorry that has happened to you. As I said I have open ears and will listen my inbox is always open on here if you need to talk
 

Neinma

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
I am glad you were able to come to terms with yourself, to find yourself and be comfortable with yourself.

Life is often filled with naysayers and bullies, but then again we can't make everyone happy and we don't need to.

Be who you are, whatever makes you happy. It is your life and your choice, and if anyone doesn't support that, they don't deserve to have you in their lives. Our lives are our own to shape and choose. I wish you all the happiness in the world
 

lngc

Well-Known Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
You know I am about as traditional as you can get. But I do my absolute best not to judge anyone. I have and even if it damns me to hell will always do my best to look at the person on the inside. No matter what.
I don't know you I probably do not agree with you on a lot of things but I will tell from what I just read I like you and I have a new understanding and respect because of you
 

Spider-Fan

Member
OFC Regular
Like everyone else I am so very proud of you for coming out. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but me, everyone, and the rest will always be there to support you. You are great person and an even greater friend. I will be by your side all day and all night.
 

Valras

Member
OFC Regular
Trigger Warning: Transgenderism and Transphobia. If either of those things bother you, please do yourself a favour and don't read this. That's not what you're on this site for. Just go do what you came here for, enjoy yourself, and have a good day.

Disclaimer: Everything I say will be my opinion, and based on my own experience. I'm not saying this is true for anyone but me. I have biases of my own, but please don't use them as a basis to stereotype all trans people. If you consider yourself an intelligent and logical person, then you'll obviously see why that would be wrong.

I won't name any names but recently, a certain someone who found something very personal about me threatened me by claiming they will "expose my lies" and this is first and foremost a message to them. I'm not scared, or ashamed. This is not a lie, it's my truth, and I'm going to share it myself instead of letting someone who would say the things you said to me control my story. I am extremely angry and hurt, but, I understand that life must not be easy for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with whatever's going on, and I really hope that things get better for you, but taking that out on me is not okay. You can do better than that, and I hope you'll realise that some day.

Onto the "lies": I was born a biological male, and I was assigned male at birth. I have never been completely comfortable with that, but I didn't learn why that was the case until much later in life, when I learned about what gender is, and about transgender people. I found out that thinking of myself as a woman, and being seen as one was very comforting for me, and it brought out a confidence that I didn't know I had. Now, due to a variety of environmental factors, getting a medical transition is something that's not on the table for me. So, my body, as of now, is that of a biological male. If this makes someone uncomfortable, trust me, I have to wake up and look at the mirror to see it everyday, you have no idea how uncomfortable I am with it. But this, is an online space. I've never posted a picture on here, and I never will, so what I look like irl, has nothing to do with how I present myself on here. It's about as wrong as people who use pictures of celebrities or drawings as their profile pictures. So once you've removed all those people from here, come at me, and I'll gladly leave too.

To the people whom I have RPed with in the past, who feel betrayed because I didn't tell them: I understand how you feel, but honestly, this doesn't really change anything about you. You're still the same person that you were before you knew that information. If you had fun RPing, then I don't really see what issue you have. If you feel you were "with a guy" I'll get to that later, but first, I want to explain why I didn't tell you or anyone else on here. I was scared. I wasn't born with a complete knowledge about who I am, or how this works, just like everyone else. I felt like a freak for feeling these things, and yet, I needed to explore them. So, I came to this online enviornment, where anyone can present as whoever they want to be, and brought out my true self, which is different from my physical body. It's only after several years of exploring myself, and learning a lot of things that I feel comfortable saying that I'm a trans woman. So, I'm sorry you're hurt, but please understand that it wasn't malicious. I've never pressured anyone on here to reveal any information about their real life, and I never will. I think it's ok for me to expect the same courtesy in return.

For those that think I'm a guy: Gender is fucking complicated. Biology itself is complicated, but how you identify is so much more nuanced than just "born with a penis vs born with a vagina" because first of all, not every human can be separated into those two categories anyway. But we live in a world where one can change that medically too. But does doing that really change who you are on the inside? I was born with a penis, but if I get that changed surgically, would that change my personality to the point that it's now ok for me to be considered a woman? That doesn't sound right to me, because I'll still be the person that I was before the surgery. The second argument is for presentation and performance. Our body language, the clothes we wear, our physical appearance, etc. should define our gender according this argument. But is it really so straightforward? There are several people throughout the world who defy the so called gender norms all the time. Butch women, drag performers, femboys, men who wear wakeup in general, women who prefer to have big muscles, etc etc are all going against those stereotypes, so do those people identify as genderless, or as whatever gender norm their presentation aligns to? That doesn't sound right to me either, because they have very strong convictions about who they are.

With that we come to the idea of self ID. You decide what or who you identify as, based on what feels right to you. We do that all the time with the clothes we wear, the people we talk to, the food we eat, and if we're lucky, the jobs we do. One could say that in comparison to one's own gender, these things are relatively trivial. So, if thinking of oneself as s certain gender feels fundamentally wrong and as another feels completely right, shouldn't we be allowed to choose the one that feels right? I don't know where this comes from, and from what I've read no one does (yet), but then again, we don't know why your favourite colour is a certain one but you're allowed to have it, why can't people pick their gender on their own? To those that think that it isn't "biologically correct" well... As explained already, your view of biology is very narrow, but also, you can literally change your biology to a large extent using morden medicine. As of right now, trans people can't have children, but then many cis people can't either, so are they not of the gender that they identify as? A similar argument can be made for all biological factors, if you take the time to think about it, so I will stop this part here. I think one should have the autonomy to feel good in their body, and about their gender, and what makes someone happy shouldn't really affect anyone else in any way. So, I'm not a "dude" and I've never been one, but despite everything I said, if you're not comfortable accepting that... That's completely ok, just stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine.

Now, the most important part, for the people in the middle. They don't really get it, but they've come to play the game of acceptance because they don't want to hurt us. This is not a matter of opinion. My identity is a fact. It's the truth. What anyone else thinks I am doesn't define me, I do. We've come to accept that as ok for sexuality, for the most part, and I'm sure eventually, people will see gender the same way. But, if you can see yourself sympathizing with people who don't agree with that, maybe you should ask yourself if you've really come to accept us, or if you're just telling yourself that. It's a simple yes or no question. Should one be allowed to identify themselves based on what feels right to them? If you think one should be, than anyone who doesn't, isn't just someone who has a differing opinion, they are actively against the autonomy of another human being. So, as far as I'm concerned, it is a line in sand. You can either be on this side or that. And for everyone on that side, just live your life and let me live mine. If you're bothered by my existence, block me.

For the rest, hi, I'm Mia (she/her)
Yo, you're pretty awesome! It takes guts to do this shit. Keep it up!!
 
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