Get2_Know_Me
New Member
Many of us have discovered attraction with the same sex because we were separated by sex during sleep overs when we were young. Boys with boys, girls with girls. Speaking as a male when you are young and got an erection all the time and also around the same sex during sleep overs I think it's common that "things went bump in the night." Orgasm's happen, even before you can produce seamen, and then pretend that nothing happened. Sometimes this happens when you are "wrestling." It's never acknowledged. This happened to me many times while growing up so I know that I am not the only one since there was more than just me involved. I'm attracted to women, however these adolescent activities stick in my memories and sometimes surface in very intense dreams where I/we take it further than what happened in real life. I think about the dreams and what really happened when growing up and cannot help to masturbate to these fantasies or memories. Still I look at women with lust but I cannot shake these childhood same sex experiences. Finally you may be like me and give in to gay porn or even hooking up with the same sex because you cannot take it anymore and need to find out what is up with your own sexuality. What I find is the porn and the hook ups are too aggressive, too direct, unlike the secretive bump in the night that started it all when I was young. That aggressiveness is scary and a put off (to me and again I have the feeling that other's can relate.) My proposal is this. There should be a section of porn that seems to not exist for the many of us who have experienced this and revert to it during our fantasies and real dreams. I would like to see porn that shows this "bump in the night, tenderness, secretive and benign - meaning not too overt. Two cocks in underwear grinding or a secret hump of a warm firm ass during the night while trying so hard not to wake the person up. Sometimes it would even happen that it would be dick next to dick while my head lying on the chest/neck area. I would orgasm without being discovered. Even though I was young, these have been some of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. The feeling of your heart in your throat! Move very, very slowly - it's taking forever but it's worth it, move very slowly and don't get caught! Is this wrong? Of course, but you are young and your hormones are in control. Did he know? Was he aware? Maybe. Maybe not but probably he was. Besides, we've humped each other before and acted like it didn't happen. Once during basic training all of us soldiers were all jammed into a train car like sardines. A soldier behind me had a hard on and was trying to hump my ass as the movement of the train jostled us around. I found this very exciting and wanted it to continue. I wanted to feel his pulsating cock orgasm on my ass but was smart enough to know this was probably done on purpose by the military. Not just to see what soldier might be claustrophobic but also to see who might have a wet spot on there ass afterward during the formation after the ride to see who might be queer or not. This being before "don't ask/don't tell." Even though I liked what he was doing I didn't want to get caught so I pushed my elbow into his stomach to let him know that I wanted him to stop. He was determined and so was I. In the end he did not come on my ass even though deep down I craved it. The situation was too risky for me. I often fantasize about it. Conclusion: Porn/hook-ups. I would like to see gentle secretive porn that reflects the intensity that some or most of us experienced while growing up that gave us the inclination to want to have same sex intense encounters in the first place, even though not gay, but maybe a little bi because of it. I think most men have had these experiences growing up in our formative years and therefore are at least a little bi or at least think about it from time to time but suppress or don't admit to it do to shame or societal pressures. The few same sex hook ups that I had (when craigslist was available) were way too fast and direct! I wanted it to go much slower, even to pretend it wasn't happening when it was. An example would be. I arrive at the guys apartment and we prepare a meal together. During that time we talk and prepare the meal the sexual tension would build, a little flirtation here and a slight touch there...maybe one of us slightly and briefly rubs a stiff cock across an ass like it didn't even happen but both know it did and are very turned on by it. Watching a movie together, both sitting at opposite ends of the same couch under the same blanket and feet begin to explore, cautiously, tentatively, non aggressive, almost scared. When it begins, it starts off with nothing overt. Not going directly to sucking cock or kissing but having an intense orgasm with clothes on like when we were adolescents...and let it expand from there. Here's the thing. When we were young and did the secretive humpty-hump that no one admitted to, there was always the feeling, the idea, "what IF we just went for it and stopped pretending it didn't and wasn't happening?" I often fantasies about this-STILL. When you are young you don't know anything about these primal urges, sex or life in general. Hind sight is 20/20. When I look back I wish I/we just went for it. ALL OUT!!! That is in the past and cannot happen but it can be somewhat recreated now through creative porn and two people who are on this same page who hook up in real life as adults now. I don't know about you but I have two different types of orgasms. When I am with a women it is awesome and intense. When I think back to when I was growing up and had those bumps in the night they were so, so intense and felt so very different - in a good way. When I masturbate now to having sex with a women or to the fantasies generated from my youth - they are very different feelings/orgasms. I cannot stress this enough...THEY ARE DIFFERENT. Both are orgasms but they don't feel the same at all. Both are spectacular but DIFFERENT. I want to experience that again but as an adult. Slow can be so, so good, however I have not experienced it yet. It can be so much better than fast because of the build up of intensity. Note: I don't think I am alone in this idea but I would love to know if anyone can relate and would like to talk about this further. Also, this is personal and I don't think it is universal but to me sex it not just about sex and not even about it being heterosexual. To me it is about connection, caring, compassion, passion, intensity and respect. Sex is so much more than sex to me. That is why I don't think it matters if you are having sex with the opposite sex or the same sex. It's all about the connection and caring. That is why I don't feel guilty about it might being wrong. How can caring for another person in an intimate way be wrong? I have never been in a relationship with a man but I could see myself, even if it's for an evening, just holding and cuddling that same sex partner with peaceful caring, sharing the moment. Connecting with another human being, warm body to warm body, heart to heart - PERIOD! Peace to all who read this and understood its complexity.
