Self Goal

[SinnerConnor]

Some of us like self deprecatory humour, right? (Not the most original idea. I've seen a page dedicated to those in another social media place.)

We don't really need the world to throw us insults, because we can do better than them. Here is a thread for insulting oneself.

I will begin:
I think am a rare one. I am the last of Dodos.

 

[GrimJoker]

I am decisive. Therefore I'm easily alienated.

 

[SinnerConnor]

Even my bank knows I have relationship issues. They have given me a relationship manager.

 

[GrimJoker]

I proven to be a crap cook. The rancid lobster nearly poisoned the customer, and I'm ashamed of myself.

 

[SinnerConnor]

Whoever says they have life problems haven't seen me dance.

 

[GrimJoker]

The reason I'm a couch potato is, I'm fat and ugly, and everyone hates me.

 

[SinnerConnor]

I've a soul stirring voice. It makes the neighbour stir, move, shake and call the police.

 

[GrimJoker]

My shower is very cold. I failed miserably to pay the electricity bill, and can't have a hot shower.

 

[SinnerConnor]

I count myself among big people. Mostly because of my weight.

 

[GrimJoker]

I crashed my car into a ditch, and now I'm burning!

 

[SinnerConnor]

If someone calls me a hoe, I feel happy. At least you admit I am useful in farming.

 

[GrimJoker]

So my excuse is to be retarded. Thus, everyone done well with the retorted view.

 

[SinnerConnor]

They named a soccer player after me. Messi, messy, one and the same.

 

[GrimJoker]

My bloody nose is like a fountain. So I wrote my letter with my own blood, which the family admired.

 

[SinnerConnor]

I can make anyone feel better. Than me, at least.

 

[MissMonroe]

I can do without you! Where are you going?

 

[GrimJoker]

I feel like a loser. It doesn't make me any better that I'm prone to popular kids. I don't belong here.

 

[Ddavid3119]

I argued with myself and I lost wht

 

[GrimJoker]

I banged my head on the wall, ashamed of my failure.

 

[MissMonroe]

Sometimes I try to listen to what I am saying.