Some Good Comebacks :)

A

AkshayGoodOne

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Hi
(NOTE : This post does not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. If it does, please reply and I'll do something about it.)
Some replies for you to consider when someone shames you for who you are....

1. For people teasing you to be "Fat" - Say, "Yes I am, and.."
I'm also thick at all the right places
I can protect more of you during a sandstorm or a cyclone
My size assures that I have enough room for people in my heart
I can provide the comfiest embraces to anyone
I'm visible from very far, so you'll always know I'm there for you

2. For people teasing you to be "Thin" - Say, "Yes I am, and.."
I can still easily curl up to fit into the smallest hearts, and reach into closed spaces
Lightweight and easy to handle
Delicate enough to stimulate all your senses
Waiting for a person to "fill" me up with all good feelings
I am an economical affair, one which all successful enterprises pursue

3. For people teasing you to be "Short" - Say, "Yes I am, and"
Closer to my roots
Playing it safe with gravity
Portable and can easily fit into hearts
Humble enough to always look up to you
You'll always be a 'big' person for me

We all possess certain imperfections in ourselves. We can work upon some of them, but there are still a few we can't do anything about. Being content and satisfied is always a good thing.
Fantasizing about a perfect image for yourself and pursuing it isn't bad either. But in the process, you look down upon yourself many times and thus miss some moments you could've chosen to live happily. Too much of that would make you impatient about your goals and you might ultimately lose hope and repent your quitting.
Just remember, people will say things because they can. You can still remain happy with yourself, so you will.
These comebacks are also for you to consider if you feel too strongly about an irrevocable or non-rectifiable defect in any person. Words have a lot of power, so your words can either make someone's day or spoil it. Nothing wrong with trying not to shame people. That energy could've been used in some constructive things and you could've experienced a tad more productivity, fulfillment and success in life.

I hope I've provided you the value for your precious time.
Thank You

PS : @Sandrock , @ViXxXeN, I'll now blurt out spoilers only for people's benefit....Sorry again :(
 
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ViXxXeN said:
Who said that? =P

Sometimes, fuck you is all that is needed to be said.
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Sometimes :)
But in case people who criticize you actually matter to you, you can always deal with it creatively
Also, you don't always want to mess up with people :)
 
Debbiediddallas said:
If I wanted any lip from you, I would've wiggled my zipper.
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Telemachus said:
Jimmy Carr has a great heckle squasher. When someone critiques his performance, he says something to the effect:

Hey, that's uncalled for. I don't come down to your job and knock the sailor's cocks out of your mouth, do I?
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I've seen that good comebacks often require a lot of thought and dexterity. We can rather make this a thread where people may take away comebacks and arguments to deal with annoying innuendos, slanders and taunts from :D :D
 
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