Hi
If you’re reading this, there’s a chance we’ve known each other, or have even talked at some point. If not, I hope you find this testimony from a person who’s been here on and off for 6 years helpful in some way.
I joined this place when I was a college student - Horny, naive, looking for fleeting excitement in sexting and trading nudes, wanting to escape my reality, where I could never sum up the guts to approach a girl. I’m also Indian, so add a lot of sexual repression and frustration into the mix. Under the shroud of anonymity, free of consequences, I lurked at nights, trying to sext or illicit nudes. While I was on the sexchat booty-calling, amidst the robotic, sex-crazed masses, I did observe some people engaging in real conversations (beautiful women included) which led me to do something I never imagined doing - wanting to be friends with them, which led to something people are generally horrified of - becoming vulnerable in the chats overall.
Practising vulnerability in a place where people can never care for you, is hard. But I guess I wanted to earn a soft spot, I felt lonely of my local life and wanted to have international friends. The following months, I got obsessed with this place - making friends, having sexual encounters luckily, simping for someone, getting on cam naked, killing time having meaningful conversations in hopes of having meaningless sexual activity - Until I found someone on this chat I fell in love with. The few months this relationship lasted, were one of the most precious ones of my life. It was for the first time I could find someone with whom I could find meaning in every online interaction. While it was all great and rosy, sadly, it ended.
I did have encounters with a few women unhappy with their marriage, with girls who found me too interesting while also getting rejected and friendzoned thousands of other times. The women eventually lost interest in me, the friends I made eventually left this place. I log off for a few months, to tend to significant life events - only to come back to a new crowd, with no one recognizing me so building up the rapport almost always gets in order.
I’ll admit that during my time here, I have been mean and disrespectful to people sometimes. Hormones and horniness got the better of me, but I take full responsibility of my actions. Irrespective of the context, I believe I could’ve done better.
I’m a changed person now - I’m working 9 to 5, got a house and my parents in it to take care of. I’m trying to build a meaningful relationship with a girl I’m dating IRL. So I don’t see a point in seeking online friends or cyber sex anymore.
I joined as a boy. While I was here on and off, I grew into a man. I get off the tracks sometimes, but I’m working on it.
I may not delete this account, so I may revisit and lurk. But by and large, I’ve had my share in this place.
Lessons I learnt -
1. The only way to build meaningful relationships with people is by being vulnerable.
2. People online can be unpredictable. Do not blame yourself for them losing interest in you, when all you did was be yourself.
3. Online friends come and go. Do not give too much of your time or energy to online chats. Anyone can be anyone on here, so there’s no way you can take this place seriously.
4. Online chats provide a great way of learning from people’s experiences across the world. It can help you learn new perspectives and even about your own sexual nature.
5. While online bullying and harassment is in no way excusable, having a thick skin and taking things with a grain of salt mitigates the blow on your mental health. It’s hard especially for the women in here, to even exist without some lunatic trying to harass for sexual favours.
6. Nothing is permanent in online chats. No matter how meaningful your relationships are, it just takes a click of a button for your friends to move out of online life and back to their real lives.
7. There are no women on the internet (just kidding)
Thanks for reading.
If you’re reading this, there’s a chance we’ve known each other, or have even talked at some point. If not, I hope you find this testimony from a person who’s been here on and off for 6 years helpful in some way.
I joined this place when I was a college student - Horny, naive, looking for fleeting excitement in sexting and trading nudes, wanting to escape my reality, where I could never sum up the guts to approach a girl. I’m also Indian, so add a lot of sexual repression and frustration into the mix. Under the shroud of anonymity, free of consequences, I lurked at nights, trying to sext or illicit nudes. While I was on the sexchat booty-calling, amidst the robotic, sex-crazed masses, I did observe some people engaging in real conversations (beautiful women included) which led me to do something I never imagined doing - wanting to be friends with them, which led to something people are generally horrified of - becoming vulnerable in the chats overall.
Practising vulnerability in a place where people can never care for you, is hard. But I guess I wanted to earn a soft spot, I felt lonely of my local life and wanted to have international friends. The following months, I got obsessed with this place - making friends, having sexual encounters luckily, simping for someone, getting on cam naked, killing time having meaningful conversations in hopes of having meaningless sexual activity - Until I found someone on this chat I fell in love with. The few months this relationship lasted, were one of the most precious ones of my life. It was for the first time I could find someone with whom I could find meaning in every online interaction. While it was all great and rosy, sadly, it ended.
I did have encounters with a few women unhappy with their marriage, with girls who found me too interesting while also getting rejected and friendzoned thousands of other times. The women eventually lost interest in me, the friends I made eventually left this place. I log off for a few months, to tend to significant life events - only to come back to a new crowd, with no one recognizing me so building up the rapport almost always gets in order.
I’ll admit that during my time here, I have been mean and disrespectful to people sometimes. Hormones and horniness got the better of me, but I take full responsibility of my actions. Irrespective of the context, I believe I could’ve done better.
I’m a changed person now - I’m working 9 to 5, got a house and my parents in it to take care of. I’m trying to build a meaningful relationship with a girl I’m dating IRL. So I don’t see a point in seeking online friends or cyber sex anymore.
I joined as a boy. While I was here on and off, I grew into a man. I get off the tracks sometimes, but I’m working on it.
I may not delete this account, so I may revisit and lurk. But by and large, I’ve had my share in this place.
Lessons I learnt -
1. The only way to build meaningful relationships with people is by being vulnerable.
2. People online can be unpredictable. Do not blame yourself for them losing interest in you, when all you did was be yourself.
3. Online friends come and go. Do not give too much of your time or energy to online chats. Anyone can be anyone on here, so there’s no way you can take this place seriously.
4. Online chats provide a great way of learning from people’s experiences across the world. It can help you learn new perspectives and even about your own sexual nature.
5. While online bullying and harassment is in no way excusable, having a thick skin and taking things with a grain of salt mitigates the blow on your mental health. It’s hard especially for the women in here, to even exist without some lunatic trying to harass for sexual favours.
6. Nothing is permanent in online chats. No matter how meaningful your relationships are, it just takes a click of a button for your friends to move out of online life and back to their real lives.
7. There are no women on the internet (just kidding)
Thanks for reading.
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I wish you all the best too
