Make me laugh

How do you make a venetian blind?
You poke him in the eye.

Man walks into a bar...
"Ow."

Went to court for a parking ticket.
I pleaded insanity.
I said: "Your honour why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane."
(Steven Wright)

I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli. (Steven Wright)

Yesterday I saw a wino eating grapes. I said "dude, you gotta wait." (Mitch Hedburg)
 
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