Make me laugh

  • Thread starter Thread starter Debbiediddallas
  • Start date Start date
CooknBacnNakd said:
He finds a stool at the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

After a few sips he beckons for the bartender and says, "Hey bartender, want to hear a blonde joke?"

The bartender says, "Sure, but before you do tell it, you should know there's a massive bodybuilding world champion sitting next to you. They are blonde. Do you still want to tell the joke?"

The blind man says yes.

The bartender says, "Okay, but before you do tell it, you should know there's the biggest and most dangerous biker I've ever seen sitting on your other side. They are blonde. Do you still want to tell the joke?"

The blind man once again says yes.
The bartender says, "Okay, but before you do tell it, you should know that I'm the biggest and baddest bartender in this town. I've thrown out drunks big and small and fought them too. I am blonde. Do you still want to tell the joke?"

The blind man pauses for a second and says "Nevermind, I wouldn't want to have to explain it three times."
Click to expand...

I've seen it posted multiple times on social media, still funny.
 
So, President Trump wakes up one morning and looks out the Oval office window and sees a beautiful fresh layer of snow on the ground, but much to his astonishment, he sees someone wrote "FUCK DONALD JOHN TRUMP" in big letters, that appear to be urine.

Incensed, he demands the Secret Service investigate. After several hours, the Secret Service agent in charge informs President Trump:

Agent: Sir, we have good news and bad news.

Trump: Give me the good news.

Agent: Sir, it was definitely urine, and we have run an exhaustive DNA test and confirmed it is from Barack Obama.

Trump: I knew that SOB hates me! I want him arrested and thrown in jail immediately!

Agent: Well, Sir, now the bad news. It is in Melania's handwriting!
 
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