One day Little Johnny walked in on his Mom and Dad making love. Johnny was aghast and asked what they were doing. His Dad replied "Playing Cards." Little Johnny goes on about his way satisfied with the answer. A few days later Johnny is in his room jacking off, beating his meat like crazy. His parents hearing all the noise goes to see what is going on. Upon opening the door and seeing Johnny whack away his Dad says "Johnny what are you doing?!?" Johnny says "Playing Cards." They ask "Well where is your partner?" Johnny exclaims "With a hand like this, who needs a partner!"
Just left Walmart where a lady with a basket full of TP asked me what kind of dog I had. I said a service dog. Very rudely she yells what type of service? I said he is a BLD. What's a BLD? She asked as she is allowing my dog to lick her face. With a straight face I said "He is my butt licking dog ( BLD ). I can't find any toilet paper anywhere because of people like you hoarding the TP so he licks my ass clean...... The cashier lost it and walked away from the register.
