No trust

To say something like that is low. I am sorry that you got hurt. Not every female is like that but to put a statement like what you have, there are just no words to describe how I see you right now.
 
You do realize that the main thing causing you this distress is you right?

Seriously...I'm actually trying to be helpful here because you sadly remind me of a younger me.

You're blaming everyone else for not liking you but you seem to think that magically some other person shows up and suddenly you're all better...that isn't how this works.

Again I am trying to be helpful, seriously...so read this and please give it proper consideration.

First a reason you should pay any attention to what I say:

I'm 37 now, since I was 16 I've been severely depressed and until I was maybe 27 I always blamed everything else...the girl if she didn't pay attention to me, the job if things weren't working out, life of it was hard...etc.

I turned to hard drugs and alcohol to cope...I thought I was doing good because I never felt anything honestly because I was fucked up 24/7...then one day I had a clear moment where I realized the actual problem was me and that I didn't give myself enough credit, attention, affection, whatever the right word...I thought I was shit, so I felt like shit.

I started not being so hard on myself...which is hard as fuck a d I promise you that you will feel fake and stupid at first but once you start to accept yourself it gets better.

Proof?

About 6 months after I started treating myself as at least a decent human and not a piece of shit, I fucking met a girl! Mind blown...i'd had drug addled relationships but when you barely remember your time together, how good was it?

Anyways, I hit it off with this girl...we started dating, turns out she had a kid, we got to the point when she introduced me and the kid and I were gold.
We got serious and moved in together.....I went from being a depressed and bitter piece of trash to a father figure in a fucking family. We got engaged but never married, 9 years in total and then she destroyed my heart. 9 years (of which I was also 100% sober) gone in 48 hours.

Quick recap: depressed "loser" ends up on the verge of having a wife, step-kid and at the time a potentially gorgeous job prospect.

So she left me...and I ended up getting laid off the next day...long story short, I lived in my god damn car for a month and I almost gave up for real. I was seriously considering just fucking ending it.

This was about 10 months ago now.

Then...in one of my weakest points, that moment of clarity came back.

Now, to be honest with you, I am in a shitty position on paper...job sucks, I don't live in my car but I rent a room in a house...I own enough that I can fit it all in a single car load. I drink again, probably too much but not ridiculous, I am honestly scared around the thought a real life relationship at the moment because I actually do know what it feels like to lose almost everything.

BUT

I don't let myself fall back into that trap....not ever again

My secret?

Whatever the demon is that's leaning on me, I find a mirror, I look myself in the eye and pay myself an honest compliment.
I feel like a jackass doing it but I no longer hate everything around me or think the universe hates me.

My shitty position? It's temporary and necessary as I rebuild.

The point is...if you won't put the care in yourself, how can you expect anybody else to put any care into you?

Also...life is always fucking hard, no matter what it is you want you have to work for it, it will not just happen...if it does cool, but don't count on it.

Anything worth doing/having/feeling requires some kind of work to achieve.

So stop with the bullshit like your hateful and disgusting comment about women....shit like that will guarantee you your misery...

Put the work into yourself or fuck off.....it's up to you, nobody else.


Sidenote....my friends on the site, that is the most I've ever shared about my actual life and i'd really prefer not to discuss much of it, but I will gladly discuss fun trips! :p
 
ViXxXeN said:
*hugs DrPervertos*

We all go through bad shit. We can either learn from the bad and press on to better things or we can wallow in self misery and stay down.
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* hugs vix back* haha! Thanks!

That's it! It took me forever but I learned it was up to me....not that it's easy but I feel human and that's a win!
 
Sorry dude....that's an excuse.

Also....your comment on women was about as far as "decent human being" can be.

Sacrifice? Try giving up the "I'm so hurt i just give up" attitude.... trying is sacrifice, not running away.

I lost almost a decade in a relationship and although slow going back to one, I am not hopeless because I won't let myself be.

Quit whining because shit didn't go your way, man the fuck up, put on your adult pants and get the fuck over it....yeah it takes real work to deal with hurt, yeah it's easy to give up....if you choose to give up or lose hope....that is you choosing it, so point the finger of blame at yourself if you're going to point it anywhere and either man up or fuck off.

This poor me shit is just an attention grab that doesn't work....been there, done that, was miserable.

I'm done...your choice, be an adult or be a baby.
 
Sun66 said:
DrPervertos, you are an inspiration and that took a lot of courage, I hope that your message does get through, love for you xxx
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Haha thanks....but I'm no inspiration....I'm actually pissed off because this whole thing is just a depressive narcissism that I held for too long and it's sad to see somebody else trying to use it as justification to be cruel or hateful towards others.
 
DrPervertos said:
Haha thanks....but I'm no inspiration....I'm actually pissed off because this whole thing is just a depressive narcissism that I held for too long and it's sad to see somebody else trying to use it as justification to be be cruel to words others.
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Don't underestimate what you have done to get here, to me you are an inspiration, and that's that! xxx
 
DrPervertos said:
Haha thanks....but I'm no inspiration....I'm actually pissed off because this whole thing is just a depressive narcissism that I held for too long and it's sad to see somebody else trying to use it as justification to be be cruel to words others.
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Sun66 said:
Don't underestimate what you have done to get here, to me you are an inspiration, and that's that! xxx
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Haha! In that case, my pleasure!!
 
MZES said:
Well it is ok....
Nevermind
My lost at the end...
I die living or living as dead....it does not matter.....
I will live my life.....

I do not know what future reserved...
Whether I will end up suiciding or killing like florida....
I do not know
" volcano can erupt at any time without no warning"
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Grow up...
 
Actually...you know what, fuck you.

I can't decided if you're stupid, just plain ignorant or trolling but whatever it is, fuck you.

I have friends who steal deal with the trauma of being raped...after your comment on women, you don't fucking deserve to even look at one. Fuck you.

Now suicide? Making threats about school shooting? Are you fucking kidding?? This shit isn't funny or appropriate you pathetic excuse for a person. Fuck you.

You crossed too many lines and I regret even trying to be helpful. This is the kind of interaction with people that you want, ok you got it champ! Fuck you.
 
MZES said:
Dude
I am not saying like I will do it
I do understand what you are saying....
I am angry at the world yet I am soft inside....really soft...when I hurt I am really hurt....

I do not agree with rape or shooting and etc...
I just wanna say that to solve a problem sometime we have to go deep in it and see a side that we are not confortable to see.

Introject: I have watched a documentary about something and in that, psychology and FBI have concluded that the first shooting ( the one two teenagers takes guns and shot everyone), they were bullied and have been treated like shit.

Well I am not saying it is right and it is correct... I just trying to say that it is something else that push them to do something they would never do.


I cannot explain it clearly what I want to say.
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Dude, a disclaimer that you're not saying that you'll become violent, in this context, is necessary but not sufficient. I mean, you've already made the transition from not caring if women are raped (which I thought would be the most morally reprehensible thing that I'd read here) and then you one-upped yourself.

If you are seriously having suicidal or violent thoughts, you need to seek psychiatric help. If this continues or escalates any further, the only responsible thing for the rest of us to do is at least make some attempt to notify the authorities.

Look, to echo some other comments here, I was fired from my job last year and my girlfriend of four years cheated on me with a guy who has thicker hair on his forearms than he does on his head before leaving me for him. I was drinking myself stupid. I still find it hard to really trust anyone. But, I never...ever...once thought that I might cause physical harm to anyone.

The reason being is that people can be shitty. But, they can also be really good. And, news flash, both men and women are people. Three out of my five best friends in the world are women. It would be grossly immoral to retaliate against my ex with physical aggression. The only thing that could be worse would be to take out my pain and anger on a third party who never hurt me.

Your inability to deal with your anger is not an excuse to harm another person. It's not an excuse to wax thoughtful of hurting another person. It's not an excuse to express apathy that people may be hurt.

It's called empathy, man. We've all been hurt and we've all been the ones doing the hurting.
 
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