Make me laugh

[cutelittlekirstie]

This appeared on my Facebook news feed from an old school teacher.

My uncle used to fight them on the beaches.

Shame that he was a lousy deckchair attendant.

 

[Tsuga802]

This appeared on my Facebook news feed from an old school teacher.

My uncle used to fight them on the beaches.

Shame that he was a lousy deckchair attendant.

That’s a dad joke if I’ve ever heard one LOL

 

[AmWoody247]

As I've only just seen your post, nothing.

Here’s one I thought of today that’s a play on the word Polymath, which means someone who is into a lot of different subjects and in considered to be pretty proficient in them. Da Vinci, Ben Franklin, Archimedes for example. Here goes:

I know a guy who- on the same night- slept with a doctor, a chemist, a poet and an best-selling author.

I hear he’s a polymath.



Well maybe not the best, but honestly how many polymath jokes are there? Guess I’ll have to look it up.

 

[AmWoody247]

That’s a dad joke if I’ve ever heard one LOL

I love a good dad joke. A bad dad joke: even better!

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

That’s a dad joke if I’ve ever heard one LOL

My old school teacher retired prior to covid, we keep in contact via Facebook.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

A guy goes to the Dr's for an examination.

The Dr says strip completely off, so he does it.

The Dr says why do you have a $100 tattooed onto your penis?.

The guy says it's to see how fast his wife can blow $100.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?.

A. Dress her up as an alter boy.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

3 guys go camping.

The guy on the right wakes up and says that he dreamt that he had an amazing hand job.

The guy on the left says he also dreamt that he had an amazing hand job.

The guy in the middle says lucky bastards. I dreamt that I was skiing.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

A guy goes out drinking and sees an attractive girl.

He says to her, I must be allergic to you because when I came near you I had a swelling.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

A girl dresses up as a police woman. She tells her boyfriend that he is under arrest for being amazing in bed.

After a few minutes she says that all charges were dropped due to insufficient evidence.

 

[AmWoody247]

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Because I can see myself in your pants.

 

[cutelittlekirstie]

My Dr says that I am addicted to my computer.

So, as a way to wean myself off he has prescribed tablets.