I Confess...

I confess....
my mind won't stop these thoughts
so I write things like this.....

Ready To Do It Now

Gonna, gonna run strong
Mixing and matching
Trying to find out where
I belong (i belong, i belong)

Yeah I can play the game
Where you’ve gotta be
So strong (so strong so strong)

Smiling out loud oh
How
Can I trick myself
Into believing
In you (in you, in you)

Whoa, yeah, I am here (i am here)
Whoa, yeah, you’re not there (not there, not there)
Freestyling laughing and singing
Dancing rockin’ with you ( with you, with you)

You know what I want
To do (to do, to do)

I’m ready to do it now
looking you over and
Wondering how (wondering how)
Wanting you to want me
Now (now, now, now)

Whoa, yeah, I am here (i am here)
Whoa, yeah, you’re not there (not there, not there)
Freestyling laughing and singing
Dancing rockin’ with you ( with you, with you)

You know what I want
To do (to do, to do)

Given you space girl
Denying myself of
The world (the world the world)
Don’t tell me you’ve been (you've been, you've been)
taken and you've been swirled (swirled, swirled)

I’m ready to do it now
Scoping you over and
Wondering how (wondering how)
Wanting you to want me
Now (now, now, now)

Give me your heart and
your love (love, love)
Give me your heart and
and Love (love, love)
Give me your heart and
and Love (love, love)

Staring at the stars above
Staring at stars above
Begging for some love
Begging for some love....

An original paul 8.31.20
 
curiousPaul said:
I confess....
my mind won't stop these thoughts
so I write things like this.....

Ready To Do It Now

Gonna, gonna run strong
Mixing and matching
Trying to find out where
I belong (i belong, i belong)

Yeah I can play the game
Where you’ve gotta be
So strong (so strong so strong)

Smiling out loud oh
How
Can I trick myself
Into believing
In you (in you, in you)

Whoa, yeah, I am here (i am here)
Whoa, yeah, you’re not there (not there, not there)
Freestyling laughing and singing
Dancing rockin’ with you ( with you, with you)

You know what I want
To do (to do, to do)

I’m ready to do it now
looking you over and
Wondering how (wondering how)
Wanting you to want me
Now (now, now, now)

Whoa, yeah, I am here (i am here)
Whoa, yeah, you’re not there (not there, not there)
Freestyling laughing and singing
Dancing rockin’ with you ( with you, with you)

You know what I want
To do (to do, to do)

Given you space girl
Denying myself of
The world (the world the world)
Don’t tell me you’ve been (you've been, you've been)
taken and you've been swirled (swirled, swirled)

I’m ready to do it now
Scoping you over and
Wondering how (wondering how)
Wanting you to want me
Now (now, now, now)

Give me your heart and
your love (love, love)
Give me your heart and
and Love (love, love)
Give me your heart and
and Love (love, love)

Staring at the stars above
Staring at stars above
Begging for some love
Begging for some love....

An original paul 8.31.20
Click to expand...



Beautiful words :)
 
Just another
Confession that had to be said,

I confess...that I'm...

Letting Go

I can’t, I can’t seem
To let go
Baby, you’ve got a
Hold on me that I
Don’t want to let
Go

Protecting my heart
So you don’t break
It. I just don’t want
To get hurt

I give you my love
Everything that I’ve
Got
But that never seems
To be enough

I give you my love
Everything that I’ve
Got
But that never seems
To be enough

Whenever I hold you
I don’t want to let
Go
But baby you never
Let me know
Please
Let me know

I can’t, I can’t seem
To let go
Baby, you’ve got a
Hold on me that I
Don’t want to let
Go

Dancing thoughts in
My mind
What is it that I’m
Hoping to find?

You know you have
My love
But you can’t show
Me
Show me your love

I give you my love
Everything that I’ve
Got
But that never seems
To be enough

I give you my love
Everything that I’ve
Got
But that never seems
To be enough

Why must I dream of
The love I want?
Why can’t I get
Enough
Of you

All I want is you
All I want, All I
Want is true
It’s all about
You

I can’t, I can’t seem
To let go
Baby, you’ve got a
Hold on me that I
Don’t want to let
Go

Now I’m letting go
Letting go
Letting go!


An original by paul 09.01.20
(inspired by Dan Fogelberg)
 
Another confession
It hit me rather strongly
So I need
to confess....

I Thought

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

My feelings for you
We had all the best
We laughed and gazed
Into each other's eyes

Nothing hindered our
Daze (i thought)

Called you, you called
Me too. I felt light
I wanted to hold you
So tight (i thought)

Getting so enthused
Only you, only you
Never knew I was
Being used (i thought)

I didn’t want to see the
Light
The clouds above blocked
My view of you and then
I couldn’t believe the
Sight

You walking hand in hand
With him
My heart left me
And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

you
Were something
New
Not something I ever
Knew

Now I see the light
Something was just
Not
Right (i thought)

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

But then I saw you
With him and you
Stole my heart
And I don’t know
If I can restart

Don’t know
Don’t know
If I will ever find
My heart (i thought)

My heart
My heart
My heart
again

An original paul 09.01.20
 
curiousPaul said:
Another confession
It hit me rather strongly
So I need
to confess....

I Thought

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

My feelings for you
We had all the best
We laughed and gazed
Into each other's eyes

Nothing hindered our
Daze (i thought)

Called you, you called
Me too. I felt light
I wanted to hold you
So tight (i thought)

Getting so enthused
Only you, only you
Never knew I was
Being used (i thought)

I didn’t want to see the
Light
The clouds above blocked
My view of you and then
I couldn’t believe the
Sight

You walking hand in hand
With him
My heart left me
And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

you
Were something
New
Not something I ever
Knew

Now I see the light
Something was just
Not
Right (i thought)

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

And all the while
I thought we’d
Been (i thought)

But then I saw you
With him and you
Stole my heart
And I don’t know
If I can restart

Don’t know
Don’t know
If I will ever find
My heart (i thought)

My heart
My heart
My heart
again

An original paul 09.01.20
Click to expand...

another lovely poem, very talented :)
 
I confess....
had an urging to write something, here it is

Stars On A Sunny Day

Dancing stars in the middle of a bright sunny day
The rush, bustling shove without the slightest hesitation
Or delay
Mitigating endless pain not pretending even unrelenting
Just stars on a regular sunny day
Just stars on a regular sunny day

Been to distant places but no place as far as your heart
Been to distant places but no place as far as your heart
Made my share of mistakes some have torn me apart
Made my share of mistakes some have torn me apart

But I find refuge in the repetition of finding myself climbing
Down hills falling most of the way down
Oh the splendor of mud puddles skipping through each one
Cleans my soul like water in a hole, like water in a hole

Found keys that I have no idea what they unlock, but I
Know they don’t unlock the gate to your heart
Mysteries blowing in my face of things that I will never
Know or be a part -- of
Or of love, or of love, or of love

Now the stars are falling, they are crying out as they
Shoot their way across the sky, departing for
A new love, a new love, a new love

Been to distant places but no place as far as your heart
Been to distant places but no place as far as your heart
Made my share of mistakes some have torn me apart
Made my share of mistakes some have torn me apart

Now the stars are falling, they are crying out as they
Shoot across the sky, departing for
A new love, a new love, a new love

Dancing stars in the middle of a bright sunny day
The rush, bustling shove without the slightest hesitation
Or delay
Mitigating endless pain not pretending even unrelenting
Just stars on a regular sunny day………..

An original paul 09.04.20
 
I Confess.....
not sure why I am here at this hour. I haven't slept for more than 76 hours, and I am wide awake and my brain seems to be functioning...LOL :) Yeah, I know easy for me to say. :) I need this space this place to just release, so here goes....thank you for stopping by. Oh, and BTW, I write these for everyone, not just me. :)

The Forest

Into the forest so alive
with colors is where I
have found peace and
understanding all of
my life.

Each step I take along
this path which is fresh
full of wonderous sights
and sounds this is home
this is where I don't
feel alone

Stopping and quietly gazing
listening to the orchestra of
silence, such a beautiful
sound such a magical feeling
I'm feeling amazing

Standing and looking up at
her beautiful umbrella casting
a fractured view of the sun
and the sky, I realize an
unforeseen feeling is
happening

A peace, a serenity reaches my
mind and heart
my eyes are slightly tearing at
such a beautiful dream
I've always loved that part

Engaged, fully captured where
I release all of me, which is not
a mistake, a natural smile arises
and I think this is my destiny
right here.

an original paul 09.05.20
 
I've been called a war monger, child killer, evil c... Because of my line of work, don't mind arms dealer as sounds cool but never sold any weapons what so ever, I could confess somethings but worry what people will think of me, the look past what good I've done and see the bad. So I will confess I've helped a shop lifter and stopped them getting caught and leave with the goods, I've helped a burglar not go to jail, I've cleared a name of a potential murderer, so what to confess.
I saw a mother looking scared shit less stealing baby food, just baby food nothing else. After convincing her I won't call the police she emptied her pockets and explained her benefits were messed up and delayed for 5 days. I got her to get more than enough food for the baby then enough food for her self as she had no food either and I emptied my wallet of cash to help. She promised me that she would pay me back, but I knew I would not see her again. I told her not to worry.
My factory was burgled and he was caught by the police running away after the alarm triggered, he broke the lock on the canteen till which was empty. Why did I help him he was trying to get cash to pay his parents rent. I dropped charges and gave him a job as a security gaurd and paid his rent. He's been working for me for 23 years. Maybe I see the good or just a soft touch.
Nearly 15 years ago I was in iraq and our convoy was attacked 11 engineers and 8 security personnel were killed. I had one of the attackers standing over me trying to shot me at point blank range but his gun failed to fire. He was shot. He was forced to fight that day, if he refused his daughter would be decapitated in the street. I cleared his name which meant his family could move on, I helped his family like my own.
Reason is 2 thieves and a potential murderer were doing stuff out of desperation and fear. They needed help.
I was asked for my forgiveness while I was in hospital for his actions, I did not under stand at the time it was me who should ask.
 
Kris730903 said:
I've been called a war monger, child killer, evil c... Because of my line of work, don't mind arms dealer as sounds cool but never sold any weapons what so ever, I could confess somethings but worry what people will think of me, the look past what good I've done and see the bad. So I will confess I've helped a shop lifter and stopped them getting caught and leave with the goods, I've helped a burglar not go to jail, I've cleared a name of a potential murderer, so what to confess.
I saw a mother looking scared shit less stealing baby food, just baby food nothing else. After convincing her I won't call the police she emptied her pockets and explained her benefits were messed up and delayed for 5 days. I got her to get more than enough food for the baby then enough food for her self as she had no food either and I emptied my wallet of cash to help. She promised me that she would pay me back, but I knew I would not see her again. I told her not to worry.
My factory was burgled and he was caught by the police running away after the alarm triggered, he broke the lock on the canteen till which was empty. Why did I help him he was trying to get cash to pay his parents rent. I dropped charges and gave him a job as a security gaurd and paid his rent. He's been working for me for 23 years. Maybe I see the good or just a soft touch.
Nearly 15 years ago I was in iraq and our convoy was attacked 11 engineers and 8 security personnel were killed. I had one of the attackers standing over me trying to shot me at point blank range but his gun failed to fire. He was shot. He was forced to fight that day, if he refused his daughter would be decapitated in the street. I cleared his name which meant his family could move on, I helped his family like my own.
Reason is 2 thieves and a potential murderer were doing stuff out of desperation and fear. They needed help.
I was asked for my forgiveness while I was in hospital for his actions, I did not under stand at the time it was me who should ask.
Click to expand...
I have goosebumbs (again). According to you, what is life about?
 
Kris730903 said:
I've been called a war monger, child killer, evil c... Because of my line of work, don't mind arms dealer as sounds cool but never sold any weapons what so ever, I could confess somethings but worry what people will think of me, the look past what good I've done and see the bad. So I will confess I've helped a shop lifter and stopped them getting caught and leave with the goods, I've helped a burglar not go to jail, I've cleared a name of a potential murderer, so what to confess.
I saw a mother looking scared shit less stealing baby food, just baby food nothing else. After convincing her I won't call the police she emptied her pockets and explained her benefits were messed up and delayed for 5 days. I got her to get more than enough food for the baby then enough food for her self as she had no food either and I emptied my wallet of cash to help. She promised me that she would pay me back, but I knew I would not see her again. I told her not to worry.
My factory was burgled and he was caught by the police running away after the alarm triggered, he broke the lock on the canteen till which was empty. Why did I help him he was trying to get cash to pay his parents rent. I dropped charges and gave him a job as a security gaurd and paid his rent. He's been working for me for 23 years. Maybe I see the good or just a soft touch.
Nearly 15 years ago I was in iraq and our convoy was attacked 11 engineers and 8 security personnel were killed. I had one of the attackers standing over me trying to shot me at point blank range but his gun failed to fire. He was shot. He was forced to fight that day, if he refused his daughter would be decapitated in the street. I cleared his name which meant his family could move on, I helped his family like my own.
Reason is 2 thieves and a potential murderer were doing stuff out of desperation and fear. They needed help.
I was asked for my forgiveness while I was in hospital for his actions, I did not under stand at the time it was me who should ask.
Click to expand...

Hey man, thank you. I have no comments other than I think it is healthy to let this shit out. Peace Brother!
 
:)
Kris730903 said:
I've been called a war monger, child killer, evil c... Because of my line of work, don't mind arms dealer as sounds cool but never sold any weapons what so ever, I could confess somethings but worry what people will think of me, the look past what good I've done and see the bad. So I will confess I've helped a shop lifter and stopped them getting caught and leave with the goods, I've helped a burglar not go to jail, I've cleared a name of a potential murderer, so what to confess.
I saw a mother looking scared shit less stealing baby food, just baby food nothing else. After convincing her I won't call the police she emptied her pockets and explained her benefits were messed up and delayed for 5 days. I got her to get more than enough food for the baby then enough food for her self as she had no food either and I emptied my wallet of cash to help. She promised me that she would pay me back, but I knew I would not see her again. I told her not to worry.
My factory was burgled and he was caught by the police running away after the alarm triggered, he broke the lock on the canteen till which was empty. Why did I help him he was trying to get cash to pay his parents rent. I dropped charges and gave him a job as a security gaurd and paid his rent. He's been working for me for 23 years. Maybe I see the good or just a soft touch.
Nearly 15 years ago I was in iraq and our convoy was attacked 11 engineers and 8 security personnel were killed. I had one of the attackers standing over me trying to shot me at point blank range but his gun failed to fire. He was shot. He was forced to fight that day, if he refused his daughter would be decapitated in the street. I cleared his name which meant his family could move on, I helped his family like my own.
Reason is 2 thieves and a potential murderer were doing stuff out of desperation and fear. They needed help.
I was asked for my forgiveness while I was in hospital for his actions, I did not under stand at the time it was me who should ask.
Click to expand...


Kris, only you know what you have done and your reasons why, no one can judge or decide what kind of person you are, as we don’t know what you have been through.

Reading your posts, it’s clear you have been involved in the darker side of humanity, things the rest of us don’t understand or actually care too. This comes at a cost to you, that’s very clear too. I’m sure whatever you have done, is from a place of protection and security.

I don’t really care what you have done in the past, it won’t change how I see you, which is a fun, caring, kind, mostly funny (I’m referring to your jokes :)), member of our little OFC community :D
 
Kris730903 said:
Family friends helping others being best you can that's all I can think about, been on here a lot as coming to that time of year. Trying not to dwell on it.
Click to expand...
Ya, I get it bro. But being here and sharing is good. I am not gonna preach or anything like that. All I can say, is everything I've seen from you has been grounded, intelligent, caring and I am happy to know you. This may seem inappropriate, but "I love you man". Just don't squeeze my ass. :)
 
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