They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store...
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So the bills are washed, the laundry is paid, the clothes are in the oven and the last load of dinner is in the dryer...
There’s a pretty good chance I’ll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bite people.
Out of my mind!
I have mixed drinks about feelings.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?
You’ll never truly know a woman until she’s drunk and mad at you.
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. O.O
I have come to the conclusion that some people are so far up their own ass that they should be reported as missing.
A knight is n shining armour is a man who has never had his metal truly tested.
I’m not sure what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Whenever someone says “exercise” I hear “extra fries”
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven’t had any yet.
I wish I knew then what I can’t remember now.
Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down to find my date of birth. O.O
Don’t be afraid of growing older, you’ll Still do stupid things... only slower.
May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.
No “New year/new me” here. I’ll be the same sarcastic asshole at 12:01 as I was at 11:59.
Rather than “Resolutions” I prefer the term “Casual promises to myself that I’m under no legal obligation to fulfill.” -
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