Make me laugh

[Kris730903]

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, “You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I’m alone. Can you create me one also?”
God replied, “Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.”

Adam thought for a second and said, “What have you got for a rib?”

 

[Kris730903]

 

[Kris730903]

I asked the librarian to recommend an author who writes dinosaur books.
"Try Sarah Topps," she replied

 

[Kris730903]

A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him...
Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him!

 

[Kris730903]

I'll never forget the day I met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate.
They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten...
I knew there and then, she was the one!

 

[Kris730903]

Fancy playing hide and seek all day and getting paid for it?
Become a member of staff at B&Q!

 

[Kris730903]

I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery....
She was in charge of the hops!

 

[Kris730903]

 

[Kris730903]

 

[curiousPaul]

Christopher Walken always cracks me up. A classic from SNL.

 

[Merikh100]

 

[Kris730903]

Well what a great selection pmsl. Pringles bloody genius

 

[curiousPaul]

@Merikh100 omg so funny best laugh of the day.

 

[MissMonroe]

 

[curiousPaul]

 

[curiousPaul]

 

[curiousPaul]

 

[curiousPaul]

 

[curiousPaul]

 

[Merikh100]