I just got struck by lightning while sitting on the toilet...
It was a real shock to the cistern!
They threw me out of the cinema yesterday for bringing my own food.
But come on! The prices are way too high...
Plus I haven't had a barbecue in months!
saw a man walking down the road with a sign under his arm that read, "& Emergency".
"Where did you get that from?" I asked.
He said, "I found it by Accident!"
My wife asked me what would stop the stairs from creaking...
Apparently 'Slimming World' was not the right answer!