Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
A mate has 2 tickets in a corporate box for England v Ireland on Saturday. He didn't realise it was going to be on his wedding, so is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at Chelsea Registry Office, 4pm. The bride's called Sarah, she's 5ft 4, pretty & a really good cook!
It's at Chelsea Registry Office, 4pm. The bride's called Sarah, she's 5ft 4, pretty & a really good cook!
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
My brother was so mean when I was a child...
He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together so I couldn't look at them!
He used to glue the pages of his porn magazines together so I couldn't look at them!
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
A man and his wife are getting ready for a party...
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Man: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes, I promise!"
Man: "I f##ked your sister!"
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Man: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes, I promise!"
Man: "I f##ked your sister!"
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
My wife is leaving me because she thinks I'm obsessed with astronomy...
What planet is she on?
What planet is she on?
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
The priest dashes out of the confessional box to the toilet and hurriedly instructs an altar boy he encounters along the way to sit in for five minutes.
The boy does so, and hears someone enter on the other side.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession and I had a blow job since we last talked".
The kid is mystified, and pops his head out of the box to find another altar boy..
"Psst... what's Father O'Malley give for a blowjob?"
"£20 and a Mars Bar, why?"
The boy does so, and hears someone enter on the other side.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been 7 days since my last confession and I had a blow job since we last talked".
The kid is mystified, and pops his head out of the box to find another altar boy..
"Psst... what's Father O'Malley give for a blowjob?"
"£20 and a Mars Bar, why?"
Kris730903
Well-Known Member
A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in: “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
The priest replies: “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in: “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
The priest replies: “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side.