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InvincibleLight
Guest
Vagueness is the assumption producer's greatest weapon
Light, I consider you to be a good friend. In my past life I was a weekend hitman, me and the family would be grateful to help you with your harassor with some family trades. Just say the word....
But no really I do consider you to be a friend and want to help if I can.
Have you thought about taking up shooting?
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InvincibleLight
Guest
Hahahahaha. Thanks, its good to hear.
I would if guns were legal here. I do collect and learn to use all manners of blades, however.
Ugh. I know about that from experience...
That is good to practice with atlat lest something. Reflecting on that statement regarding men coming onto girls who are not interested and vise versa. I wish there was a way to draw a black and wight line between like what I am doing now, and someone trying to force themselves on you....
I
InvincibleLight
Guest
^What she said^
Fuck, the last few weeks will NOT stop kicking my ass.... Hours cut at work, dropped from a class, my grandmother is dying, I am having communication issues with one of my closer friends cause whattsapp is a bitch, in my secret gun society I miss quoted a law/atf ruling and just made my self look like a idiot, I may or may not be in compliance with the law regarding firearms no one really knows, and this stone cold bitch keeps trying to string me along. So right now everything is a fucking shit show, HOW DOES SHIT KEEP GETTING WORSE?!?!?!
Hey, I know things keep happening to you. Hang in there, you will get through this, I know you will x
Thanks sun, watched some freedom on youtube and porn feeling a bit better.
Preface:
Big Sandy is the largest NFA shoot in the country, predates the 86 machine gun ban where we see the tensions now raise between the anti gun vs pro gun factions.
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AkshayGoodOne
Guest
Well, I need to let something out too...
Belonging to a humble background, I have always faced problems regarding my self-esteem. I think too much, am dreamy and take little things from a person that matters (sometimes who doesn't matter) to heart. My biggest fear is to be deemed redundant and disgusting.
I envy people who are confident- people who are never left alone by people......especially girls who are beautiful and humble at the same time. I even envy well-known members on this site. They seem to suck the confidence out of me, for their opinions begin to matter a lot. So I become too cautious around them, and I finally appear shy and uninteresting. Even when I believe I have greater and more thoughtful content, the people around me who focus on saying as much as they can, however gibberish get more attention at some instances. Yes, I think twice before speaking or writing, and I just can't change that about myself so quickly (I also think I don't need to).
I feel small before people who reek in self-confidence. Their words seem so important and people just flock to talk to them. This in turn, strengthens their very self-confidence that caused the popularity.
Now, I have learnt that you actually don't need anything external to be self-confident. My lack of exposure, me being a virgin (curiosity about sex and the resulting desperation), expectations from parents, responsibilities they put on me, my dreaminess, the resulting aloofness and forgetfulness, my inability at performing some tasks that people should know to live as a self-reliant and other people's apparent popularity and efficiency seem a deterrent to my self-confidence. These all contribute to my apparent lack of desirability, which further breaks it. A low ego doesn't help or mend all these impacts.
I sometimes think I have wasted all these years of my life. The reason people expect a lot of me is my academic brilliance, school-boy sincerity and obedience. So my drive for self-perfection and approval puts a lot of pressure on me. That is a potential scissor to self-esteem.
This low self-esteem makes me do what I regret later (I never did anything serious, just little things like saying what I think had made a low impression on people). Now, I'm educating myself and learning to protect this treasure of mine.
When all the world seems to conspire to degrade your self-confidence, you know that you have to protect it to remain happy in life.
Belonging to a humble background, I have always faced problems regarding my self-esteem. I think too much, am dreamy and take little things from a person that matters (sometimes who doesn't matter) to heart. My biggest fear is to be deemed redundant and disgusting.
I envy people who are confident- people who are never left alone by people......especially girls who are beautiful and humble at the same time. I even envy well-known members on this site. They seem to suck the confidence out of me, for their opinions begin to matter a lot. So I become too cautious around them, and I finally appear shy and uninteresting. Even when I believe I have greater and more thoughtful content, the people around me who focus on saying as much as they can, however gibberish get more attention at some instances. Yes, I think twice before speaking or writing, and I just can't change that about myself so quickly (I also think I don't need to).
I feel small before people who reek in self-confidence. Their words seem so important and people just flock to talk to them. This in turn, strengthens their very self-confidence that caused the popularity.
Now, I have learnt that you actually don't need anything external to be self-confident. My lack of exposure, me being a virgin (curiosity about sex and the resulting desperation), expectations from parents, responsibilities they put on me, my dreaminess, the resulting aloofness and forgetfulness, my inability at performing some tasks that people should know to live as a self-reliant and other people's apparent popularity and efficiency seem a deterrent to my self-confidence. These all contribute to my apparent lack of desirability, which further breaks it. A low ego doesn't help or mend all these impacts.
I sometimes think I have wasted all these years of my life. The reason people expect a lot of me is my academic brilliance, school-boy sincerity and obedience. So my drive for self-perfection and approval puts a lot of pressure on me. That is a potential scissor to self-esteem.
This low self-esteem makes me do what I regret later (I never did anything serious, just little things like saying what I think had made a low impression on people). Now, I'm educating myself and learning to protect this treasure of mine.
When all the world seems to conspire to degrade your self-confidence, you know that you have to protect it to remain happy in life.
I
InvincibleLight
Guest
Hey, itll get better. That's how life works, is what I'd say if it were true. Life is chaos, and therefore impossible to predict. Therefore, just go along with the insanity, and you'll find it much, much easier. Don't struggle against life, go along with it until you see the chance to stab it in the back and run away.
Self confidence is a tricky issue. I for one, often doubt myself. I do happen to think twice about what I post, but I am a quick thinker. I do post alot, but that is mostly for two reasons:
A) I love this place and have alot of time on my hands
B) I have the goal of reaching the top of the notable members list, driven by my desire to be the best at everything I do.
Where we differ is how we deal with it- you hold your tongue forever, and I analyze the situation and 9 times out of ten I decide to just go for it. I've found it works much better. And trust me, when it comes to me, there is nothing to be jealous of. And besides, all most girls need on this site to become popular is nudes. (No offense intended to anyone, its just a statistical fact), as that is what most people come to this site for. Beyond that, you at least had my approval a long time ago. Trust me, usually IRL most of us are social outcasts, usually due to either unwillingness to socialize, lack of physical assets, or defective personalities. All three of the above apply to me, I'm truly not a very sociable person IRL unless it suits me, because I am terrifying to many. This is one place we can let loose, and be ourselves. Its all about letting loose a bit, instead of saying nothing, try saying what's on your mind, if you deem it important. Don't envy us, we honestly don't deserve to be envied.
I find it funny that people feel the notable members list is important. It isn't a popularity contest. This isn't high school. It means nothing. You don't get a trophy or an award. The only reason I am at the top of it is because when the site first started a few of us wanted to get the forum moving and wanted to welcome people to the site. I don't post as much as I use to in the beginning because the forum is being used now.
Just be yourself, AkshayGoodOne. We are all here mostly to have fun. So, say what you want to say, join in on the fun. You are always very sweet and respectful, so you are good in my book!
Just be yourself, AkshayGoodOne. We are all here mostly to have fun. So, say what you want to say, join in on the fun. You are always very sweet and respectful, so you are good in my book!
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AkshayGoodOne
Guest
Thank You, Natsune. This message would help me transform my life for the better.
I'm going to remember these words for a long time.
There's a hairline between self-esteem and ego, which is too hard to detect and stand upon. I think wherever I go, this little trickle of self-doubt will always linger. I just realized these things very late, but I'm glad that I did.
Shyness results from concern of what people would think about you. But just not thinking about feelings of people won't do. Maybe, missing that mark sometimes is imminent. Speaking the right words at the right time is a difficult and a highly subjective topic - It depends upon what you want to achieve in life. Most of us are many times not clear about what we want. We want one thing, we act according to it, then we switch to a different want, and repent our last action. That indecisiveness, even though one's intellectual and can do the right things provided what effect he really wants, leaves us astray.
Self-confidence is as fragile as a droplet clinging onto a spider's web. A little twitch or a breeze would just break its state.
Thank You
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InvincibleLight
Guest
Im not doing it for that, Im doing it for the sense of achievement Ill get from reaching that goal. Its like a game to me, nothing more, nothing less.
Go have fun!
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AkshayGoodOne
Guest
Well, ViXxXeN, Its not that I envy people in the negative way. I didn't intend to use Envy as it is usually interpreted. It results from the fact that I admire and look up to such people. Everyone needs appreciation and popularity -a dream that never lets anyone sleep -" IRL" , as Natsune says. I too, for instance, want to feel important, and I know and respect the fact that it will come gradually and with effort. I am a student of life, and I'll just never stop working on myself.
Maybe I couldn't express my admiration and my desire to be like them, as well as I should have.
But never mind. Just remember that you people have all my admiration and love.